Aiman Azlan's Blog

In today's podcast episode, I gave a brief commentary about the first chapter of my book "Unshakeable: How to Be Confident When You're Nervous". I gave my commentary based on this paragraph in the chapter: Our mind is a fascinating gift. Our mind is capable of achieving great things, if only we learn how it works and how to properly use it. Our mind is the looking glass through which we see and understand the world. Come listen to the podcast episode on Anchor . Also available on Apple Podcasts , Google Podcasts , and Spotify .  

1. Deep Breathing Sometimes life can be overwhelming, so it is important to remember to stop and breathe. Pause what you’re doing, close your eyes, and take a deep breathe. Feel the air coming in and out of you, and savour the moment. 2. Gratitude Journal Take pen and paper. For only 5 minutes, write down the things you have right now that you can be grateful for. Focus specifically on the little things, because we tend to take them for granted. 3. Social Support One or two supportive friends or family members can be powerful enough to help overcome stress. True social support is when the people stay with you no matter what, through thick and thin. At the very least, you have a shoulder you can cry on. 4. Sincere Prayer Consciously enter the prayer with the intention of wanting to connect with Allah. The moment when you stand in front of Him, push the stress away for a moment and find your center. Return to the meaning of your life. 5. Positive Self-talk Be aware o...

Hello 2019! To start off the year, I did a Q&A on my Instagram stories (something that I do a lot) and the topic was about the new year. I received a lot of great questions and the session was engaging. But out of all the questions, one question got stuck on my mind to this day. It wasn't really a question; it was more of statement. It was a simple sentence, but it bears within it an intriguing story such that I wonder about it long after I read the sentence. The sentence goes, "I don't look forward to 2019." This was said on the first day of 2019! That sentence left me with more and more questions. What has happened in this person's life that the beginning of something new and exciting is met with such self-destructive skepticism and subsequent demotivation? Understandably, life is hard. Whether we like it or not, life is hard. The sooner we internalize it and make peace with it, the easier it is for us to deal with it. The acceptance doesn't ...

Orlando, Florida (2010) I can't believe this photo was taken 8 years ago. Looking back, I am grateful for the friends that I have because whether they realize it or not, they contribute in some way to the person that I am today. The people whom I hang out with, travel with, eat with, live with, and share my joys and sorrows with, are people whom I chose. I picked them out of so many other people, because I believe they can help me become better. I also believe that I can help them. Sometimes we don't realize that we are constantly creating the social environment we are living in, and that environment will shape who we are and who we will be. Although I believe people have a constant potential to change, I also believe that you form much of who you are and who you will be during your youth years. That's why those moments are called "formative" years. They form who you are. You solidify your sense of self, your identity, your view of the world, and you...

There are at least 2 reasons why you feel nervous in front of a crowd: 1. There are too many of them! The fear is real. You stand in front of an audience and they are all staring at you, all at once. You think that perhaps they are judging you and you feel like you are being punished for something you did. It's not a good feeling. But, if you can pause and ponder on it, you will realize that you are actually making up most of the things you fear in your head. In reality, you have no idea what they are thinking and they have no idea what you are thinking. Both parties are guessing what the other is thinking, and most of those guesses are negative. Right? 2. There are important people among them! This is a bit tricky. You can feel this fear even if the number of people in front of you are only a handful (e.g. in a panel interview or during a viva presentation). The number of people is not the issue, the issue is who is among them. You know that they are important pe...

Seth Godin wrote a blog post recently about coaching and he made an interesting point about motivation. He concluded with a statement, "Sooner or later, all motivation is self motivation". I found truth in his statement from my own experience being a motivational speaker. Often times organizers approach me with more or less the same request, "Could you please give motivation to our audience?" I totally understand where they are coming from. Perhaps they have tried their best to motivate their own audience but the outcome isn't what they expected. So, the opted to outsource it to someone like me. I am happy to help, but one thing that I usually remind them is that I can't give anyone motivation. Such an interesting statement coming from a motivational speaker, right? Well, the idea is that people can't be forced to do anything if all you want is authentic change. People might comply on the outside, but they most probably aren't moved on the ...

Some people struggle with boredom. They don't know what to do. Others struggle with passion. They want to do everything. Both groups of people have one thing in common: they ended up doing nothing. The boredom group lost their minds in the emptiness and they ended up wasting time doing activities that are equivalent to nothing. The passion group lost their minds in the noise and they ended up paralyzed and thus do nothing. I am in the passion group. Although many of us would love to have passion in what we do because it gives our life meaning and drive, we have to be prepared with the possibility of being overwhelmed. We want to do it all. We want to master everything. We want to save the world! To make things worse, there is this voice in our heads that yells, "Time is running out!" and that pushes us to rush things in the pursuit of wanting to do it all, master everything, and save the world. Indeed, time is running out because our time is limited. But, this is ...

It is important for you to master public speaking skills early in life; when you're young. Why? Because public speaking is more than just speaking in front of a lot of people. It is the communication skill that directly combines interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. You are talking to other people, but you are also talking with yourself. You are practising self-control, particular ego control, to battle your insecurities and lack of confidence. That strong and healthy intrapersonal communication can help you with connecting with people on a deeper level. When you are connected with people, that’s how you can get your message across and internalized by others. That's not only the goal of public speaking, that's the goal of communication in general. You will use this skill on and off stage. You will use it with your best friend, your spouse, your children, your parents, your in-laws, your neighbours, and whoever that is in your life. You want your message to get acros...

When you talk to many, many people and listen to their problems, you start to notice similar patterns. Certain kinds of words or phrases appear in their daily vocabulary that seem to make their problems worse. Among them is the question, Why me? I am not saying that the question is wrong. It is not. It is understandable to ask the question when problems arises, especially problems that are so heavy you feel like you can't handle it. The question is tempting to ask and it sits on our tongue in difficult times. But, it is not the question to ask, especially if you want to persevere and move forward. It is the question to ask if you want to sink deeper in misery. Because asking "why me?" implies that you shouldn't be the one getting the problems. Why me? Why not someone else? In the moment of difficulty, there is a tendency for our mind to go off track. We may not be thinking clearly when we are emotionally unstable. Hence, it is understandable that we may for...

Take a pen and paper, list down all the things you have in your life in 5 minutes. Try to fill in the page with anything and everything. Write down anything that is worthy of even the slightest gratitude. It doesn’t to be huge and magnificent. The smallest blessing is still a blessing. For example, I wrote down “I have a nice handwriting”. It’s your list and it’s your gratitude, so you can write pretty much anything. Who’s stopping you? I recommend this to my audience countless of times. This exercise counters our tendency to count other people’s blessings (that guy has that, that girl has this, etc) and we forget our own blessings. No wonder our confidence dwindles. We don’t appreciate ourselves enough! So grab a pen and paper. Start counting yours.

The night before, I set multiple alarm clocks so that I can wake up early in the morning. I started setting the clock at 5am and set increments of 30 minutes until 6am. Usually, I am able to wake up when I wanted to. However, waking up early isn't the hardest part of my morning routine. The hardest part is getting up. If you think about it, waking up takes a lot less effort because all you need to do is to open your eyes. I do that a lot; I wake up! But the part that I failed a lot is in getting up, where by I have to physically lift my reluctant body off the comfortable pillow and bed. Then, I have to walk to the toilet to get ready. I can't tell you how many mornings I have succeeded in waking up, but I have failed in getting up. Do I give up? Of course not! I analyzed my situation and I realized something about myself. Whenever I want to get up, I will look around first. Often times, when I see the people around me still sleeping, then I immediately think to myself, ...

Have you ever met someone and you find out that he is better than you in some way? Then you switch perspective to yourself and think, "I'm not as good as that guy." 
You end up feeling horrible about yourself.

 Familiar?

 But there's a fundamental problem with that type of comparison, because you are assuming that you are on the same level in the process as that guy. Fact is, you are not.

 What you see is the result, but what you don't see is the effort he put in to get the result. He has played the game longer than you. If you are on Level 2, he is on Level 10. 

So you can't make an equal comparison between yourself and that guy. No wonder you feel horrible about yourself. But you have to realize that you are not being fair by making that comparison.

You will get to Level 10, but not right now. Be patient, and keep on working on yourself. The process is long, but it is worth it. If you still want to keep that guy in your mind, see him as...

You have something important to do and you know that you have to do it now. You also know how to do it, or at least you know how to start the process. But you decided to delay it until later, whenever that is, and keep on delaying until a time when you are too close to the deadline. Then, you rush to finish the job and simply focused on getting it finished. It's done! You feel relieved, but the outcome is not of the quality you hoped for in the beginning. When you are asked, "Why didn't you do it sooner" You answer, "I was lazy. Sorry." Saying you are lazy is, in a way, identifying yourself with the laziness. When you do that, you accept it as a part of yourself. It is now a part of who you are as a person. When that happens often, you will get used to the fact that you are lazy. You become okay with it. When someone asks you again, you say, "I'm just lazy. There's nothing I can do." What was once an action, now becomes an identity....

Hear me out. Nobody should ask someone to make mistakes intentionally. That would be immoral. But the irony is that, we learn most through making mistakes. So, how can we avoid making mistakes but at the same time learn from them? The answer is actually simple: Try. You don't have to try hard to make mistakes. You are human after all. Whether you like it or not, making mistakes is part of our genes. Find the courage to try more and try again, and the process of trying, mistakes will naturally be made. This is a simple rule we begin with in our lives. When we were small, we just try things. We made mistakes, and we might hurt ourselves a bit along the way. But we brush it off, learn from the experience, and move on. We grow by knowing what we did that led to the mistakes, and try not to repeat the same mistakes again. We move on by trying it differently, or trying different things. We will make new mistakes, and then the cycle repeats itself. This is not us making mistak...

One of the things that I appreciate about Ramadan is the realization of how much control I have over my behaviours. Sometimes, I fall into this trap of blaming shyatan (devil) of what I did. But in fact, shaytan only whispers and invites, but it is I who accept the invitation. When Ramadan comes I know in my mind that shaytan is not here and his influence has been diminished greatly. That is one of the mercy of this holy month that we are in right now. So it is all on me now. But this is not just true for Ramadan. In other months, the equation stays the same: shaytan only invites, but it I who accept the invitation. This month helps me realize the amount of control I actually have over what I think, say, or do. Take smoking as a simple example. In Ramadan, you realize that you have the power to succumb your desires. I am not saying that it is easy. Smoking is an addiction and it requires a lot of work to overcome, especially when you are doing it for such a long time. However, ...

Transcript: You are listening to Unshakeable, a weekly podcast about building unshakeable self-confidence by overcoming your insecurities. Lets do this. Assalamualaikum and hello everybody, Aiman Azlan here. Welcome to Unshakeable podcast. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. The Unshakeable podcast is produced every week so be sure to subscribe for your weekly earful goodness. You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook @aimanazlan90. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show. In today’s episode, I want to share with you an interesting experience I had while running the other day. It was a lovely day at the running track by the river, close to where I live. I started my run with a steady pace; not too fast, not too slow. Since I hadn’t been running in a while, I didn’t want to overwork my body and risk injury. So there I was, running and running. I had a simple target in mind, run until I reached a bridge wh...

As I mentioned on my Instagram  a few days ago, I am making a list of goals that I want to achieve for the coming Ramadan. It is a practice that I have started a few Ramadans ago and it has helped me (and my family) to be focused. We need to have a more focused Ramadan. For the year 2018, Ramadan will fall on May 17th (That's tomorrow, wuhoo!) and I figured I should publicize my Ramadan goals in the form of a blog post and a vlog . Without further ado, here is a simple list of my Ramadan goals: Goals for Myself Surah al-Baqarah Podcast This is an ongoing goal that started way back in 2016 when Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan started his epic translation sessions of Surah al-Baqarah. My wife and I followed the recordings but we couldn't manage to stay through the whole thing unfortunately. But I don't want to give up on it and I want to continue doing it. My plan is to download the podcast on my phone and listen to it while I'm driving because that is when I li...

I was with the Form 2 students at MRSM Serting, Negeri Sembilan speaking about how to be confident in English. During the break, one student approached me to ask me how to change accent. I asked, “Why?” He simply answered, “My friends make fun of my accent. I sound Chinese when I speak English.” I said, “What’s wrong with that?” He said, “It’s not normal.” Poor kid. His English is perfectly fine. In fact, I believe he is on the right track. If he continues to practice and practice, he might be super fluent. But being teased by his friends caused his journey to stall. I can sense that one of the factors why his friends tease his accent and why he thinks it's not normal is because of how we view English in the first place. We have a skewed idea of what "normal English" means. Normal English means American or British English. That is simply not true. American or British English could be considered as the standard because without a standard, things could g...

I plan my day the night before. I open up my Google Calendar and I insert the tasks I want to do 1-hour chunks, depending on the nature of each task. I would start from the time I wake up until the time I sleep. Below is an example of my day plan: 4:30 - 5:30am: Pray + Quran + read + exercise 5:30 - 6:30am: Work* 6:30 - 7:30am: Pray + get ready 7:30 - 9:00am: Drop off son and wife + breakfast 9:00 - 10:00am: Work 10:00 - 10:15am: Break 10:15 - 11:15am: Work 11:15 - 11:30am: Break 11:30am - 1:00pm: Work 1:00 - 2:00pm: Pray + lunch 2:00 - 4:00pm: Work 4:00 - 5:00pm: Alone time + pray 5:00 - 6:00pm: Pick up wife and son 6:00 - 11:00pm: Family time *My work consists of prioritized tasks related to motivational speaking, Youtube vlogging, writing, and social media postings. House chores are also included in the term "work". Upon a glance, one might think that I have my life in order and everything falls into place. But life rarely follow...

Hypocrisy Sucks We don't like it when people are being hypocritical. But beyond that, we don't like it when we are being hypocritical. But this post is not about being a hypocrite. This post is about being a human being who is in the process of self-development. When you are in the process of developing yourself, you will find yourself in a transition phase. You are neither the person you are and at the same time you are not the person you want to be. At least not yet. In that transition phase, it is quite normal to feel like you are a hypocrite. It is understandable that you are uncomfortable in this phase. That feeling of hypocrisy can lead you to abandon the process of self-development altogether and return to your former self. Sarah and Smoking For example, Sarah wanted to change her lifestyle. Before, she smoked cigarettes and most of her friends are doing the same. She realized that the habit is dangerous to herself physically and financially. So Sarah st...