Aiman Azlan's Blog

Some people struggle with boredom. They don't know what to do. Others struggle with passion. They want to do everything. Both groups of people have one thing in common: they ended up doing nothing. The boredom group lost their minds in the emptiness and they ended up wasting time doing activities that are equivalent to nothing. The passion group lost their minds in the noise and they ended up paralyzed and thus do nothing. I am in the passion group. Although many of us would love to have passion in what we do because it gives our life meaning and drive, we have to be prepared with the possibility of being overwhelmed. We want to do it all. We want to master everything. We want to save the world! To make things worse, there is this voice in our heads that yells, "Time is running out!" and that pushes us to rush things in the pursuit of wanting to do it all, master everything, and save the world. Indeed, time is running out because our time is limited. But, this is ...

I am a professional public speaker. A motivator. That is my full time job. Since 2011, I spoke in hundreds of events and with thousands of people. I love what I do and I am good at what I do. But one thing about my job that is still bothering me after all these years. There aren't that many women motivators out there. Often times when I am on stage with other speakers, or when I am in the audience listening to a speech, I can bet good money that the speakers would be men. I am not against men speaking, but I would love to see a balance in the conversation that we are having. As a man, I will try my best to be as balanced as I can when I'm speaking. But, as a man, I can't escape my male biases and my male life experiences. That limits my ability to understand certain thing about human beings, because human beings aren't all men. When I interact with women in my field, I get realizations of the other side of the coin and my mind opens up by perceptions that I can...

The process of getting a job involves a degree, a resume, an interview, and an employer. Many of us think that is the only path to get a job, and thus feel stuck and frustrated when that one path fails them time and time again. Perhaps, it is impossible for you to get a job. Nobody wants to hire you. That line of thinking causes so much misery in so many talented young people. I am here to tell you that you are beating yourself up for no good reason, because that path you tried is not the only path that is available. So, that's it? That's the only conclusion? Because nobody wants to hire you, so it is impossible for you to get a job? Did you ever consider the possibility that you can get a job without anyone hiring you? Here's one way to know. Ask yourself this question: Is it true that the only way to get a job is through the process of obtaining a degree, a resume, an interview, and an employer? To answer that question, you just need to open your mind and look a...

It is important for you to master public speaking skills early in life; when you're young. Why? Because public speaking is more than just speaking in front of a lot of people. It is the communication skill that directly combines interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. You are talking to other people, but you are also talking with yourself. You are practising self-control, particular ego control, to battle your insecurities and lack of confidence. That strong and healthy intrapersonal communication can help you with connecting with people on a deeper level. When you are connected with people, that’s how you can get your message across and internalized by others. That's not only the goal of public speaking, that's the goal of communication in general. You will use this skill on and off stage. You will use it with your best friend, your spouse, your children, your parents, your in-laws, your neighbours, and whoever that is in your life. You want your message to get acros...

Confidence is very important for youth. They should be confident; in who they are, in how they think and feel, and in what they do. I’m not saying if you are confident, you can do anything. You can’t, because you’re human. What I am saying is that with confidence, you are comfortable being human. You accept your humanity; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not only that, confidence pushes you beyond your comfort zones to make the best out of your strengths and improve your weaknesses. You will still have issues and problems. But confidence helps you deal with them like a champion. Everyone has a champion inside. But a champion needs to be trained.

When you talk to many, many people and listen to their problems, you start to notice similar patterns. Certain kinds of words or phrases appear in their daily vocabulary that seem to make their problems worse. Among them is the question, Why me? I am not saying that the question is wrong. It is not. It is understandable to ask the question when problems arises, especially problems that are so heavy you feel like you can't handle it. The question is tempting to ask and it sits on our tongue in difficult times. But, it is not the question to ask, especially if you want to persevere and move forward. It is the question to ask if you want to sink deeper in misery. Because asking "why me?" implies that you shouldn't be the one getting the problems. Why me? Why not someone else? In the moment of difficulty, there is a tendency for our mind to go off track. We may not be thinking clearly when we are emotionally unstable. Hence, it is understandable that we may for...

I hate my degree, what should I do? I have no right to tell you what you should or should not do. But what I can say is that you always have a choice. Just because the choice is difficult, or even super difficult, it is still a choice that you can make. Because after everything is said and done, this is your life. Your life. So, you are ultimately responsible for whatever you think, do and say. Every choices you make in your life is yours, and you don't have anyone to blame but yourself. The moment when you start to blame others is the moment when you have allowed others to control your life. It's my parents. They forced me to take the degree. It's not my fault. Here's the thing. You can wait until Judgment Day comes, but you will never be able to control when or how people will change. So, if you are sitting there waiting for others to change so that your situation changes, then you are waiting for cats to grow horns (Malaysians will know this saying haha!)...

Take a pen and paper, list down all the things you have in your life in 5 minutes. Try to fill in the page with anything and everything. Write down anything that is worthy of even the slightest gratitude. It doesn’t to be huge and magnificent. The smallest blessing is still a blessing. For example, I wrote down “I have a nice handwriting”. It’s your list and it’s your gratitude, so you can write pretty much anything. Who’s stopping you? I recommend this to my audience countless of times. This exercise counters our tendency to count other people’s blessings (that guy has that, that girl has this, etc) and we forget our own blessings. No wonder our confidence dwindles. We don’t appreciate ourselves enough! So grab a pen and paper. Start counting yours.

When we stand close to a big painting, we can only focus on a small part of it. Every single person we see is a big painting and our encounter with each one of them is like us standing close to the painting. We only see a part of the person, not the whole. To draw any conclusion about the painting from the small part we see would be an unjust view of the whole picture. But so many of us are ready to make that jump without taking into consideration the possibility that there may be more than meets our eyes. All we need to do is take a step back, and see the bigger picture.

The night before, I set multiple alarm clocks so that I can wake up early in the morning. I started setting the clock at 5am and set increments of 30 minutes until 6am. Usually, I am able to wake up when I wanted to. However, waking up early isn't the hardest part of my morning routine. The hardest part is getting up. If you think about it, waking up takes a lot less effort because all you need to do is to open your eyes. I do that a lot; I wake up! But the part that I failed a lot is in getting up, where by I have to physically lift my reluctant body off the comfortable pillow and bed. Then, I have to walk to the toilet to get ready. I can't tell you how many mornings I have succeeded in waking up, but I have failed in getting up. Do I give up? Of course not! I analyzed my situation and I realized something about myself. Whenever I want to get up, I will look around first. Often times, when I see the people around me still sleeping, then I immediately think to myself, ...

When two people are together, miscommunication happens. It's like one of the features of a packaged deal that you don't want, but you can't do anything about it. It's a packaged deal, so you have to accept it as it is. However, it is not all doom and gloom. Though it is present in any relationship, we can take precautionary steps to minimize any damage by being aware of it at all times and prevent it by improving our communication skills. One thing to keep in mind when communicating is to be specific when you are trying to say something. Often times we say things with the assumption that the person simply knows what we mean. Although in our head it makes sense, it doesn't necessarily translate in the exact same way in the other person's head. So we need to be wary of how the other person is perceiving what we say and we need to make it clear off the bat. Of course, things don't always go that way and miscommunications can still happen. But even so, thi...

My son, being an active 3-year old boy that he is, gets easily stimulated by a crowd of people and a place full of stuff. It doesn't have to be interesting stuff; just stuff. He can turn anything into an interesting thing, because that's the superpower all kids have I believe. Having said that, it is not all rainbows and roses. Yes, I love that my son is active and I love that he is exploring the world around him. But, there is a catch. There will come a time when my son will make certain requests that I can't fulfil. Or to be more exact, requests that I shouldn't fulfil. For example, he would see a candy store and want candies. My wife and I strictly limit his candy consumption. We believe it will cause him to be more hyper than he naturally is, and that can be nightmare for both parties. He would also want to play with certain things that shouldn't be played with, like something made of glass or another kid's toy. When that happens, my wife and I know b...

Have you ever met someone and you find out that he is better than you in some way? Then you switch perspective to yourself and think, "I'm not as good as that guy." 
You end up feeling horrible about yourself.

 Familiar?

 But there's a fundamental problem with that type of comparison, because you are assuming that you are on the same level in the process as that guy. Fact is, you are not.

 What you see is the result, but what you don't see is the effort he put in to get the result. He has played the game longer than you. If you are on Level 2, he is on Level 10. 

So you can't make an equal comparison between yourself and that guy. No wonder you feel horrible about yourself. But you have to realize that you are not being fair by making that comparison.

You will get to Level 10, but not right now. Be patient, and keep on working on yourself. The process is long, but it is worth it. If you still want to keep that guy in your mind, see him as...

"Any tips in managing and surviving undergraduate life?" The basis of your university experience should be your vision for the future. You don't have to have everything figured out, but at least you need to know what you want out of your life. In spiritual sense, this is our niat (intention). That is the seed of your motivation in university.  University life is going to be difficult, and sometimes brutal. But if you have the right mindset and the right motivation as your foundation, you will be able to get back up when you get knocked down. With each punch life gives you, you will get stronger and better equipped to face future challenges.  But if you are not armed with the right mindset and the right motivation, then a simple poke in the face could be a deal breaker for you. You might give up too early because you don't have a strong push behind you to move on and keep on trying. So, everything begins and ends with your intention. Of course, for many ...