Posts

My Analysis of the Wang Hantaran Fight

Last Saturday, an unfortunate incident happened where two families fought over what the media said was the wang hantaran (gift money) for a would-be wedding. Like a wildfire, the social media took this story to another level. There are many things that I could say and want to say about this story, but I want to focus mainly on our reaction to it. As you are reading this, it is possible that the people involved in this story are already sorry about what they did and they want to move on with their lives. Unfortunately, it is a bit difficult to do that since the video of the incident already went viral and people are talking about it. I was a bit doubtful whether I should join the conversation by writing this blog post due to the risk of drawing more attention to it. But in the spirit of hoping that we improve the way we conduct ourselves when something "hot" like this happens, I decided to write about it anyway. It became difficult to ignore. I noticed it when suddenly...

If You Publicize Your Good Deed, Then You Are Not Sincere. Really?

I've been thinking about sincerity and what it truly means. Some might think that sincerity simply means that you do something in secret or you hide your actions from people. Although that is somewhat true, I don't think it's the whole picture. Sincerity might not be that simplistic. You could be hiding your actions, but still be insincere. How? For example, if you hide your actions such that you want people to call you sincere or humble or righteous. In such a case, you're not sincere. On the other hand, you could publicize your actions but still be sincere if the publicity doesn't matter to you. In such a case, you are considered to be sincere right? Even though the whole world knows what you did. So is sincerity simply means hiding our actions? That could be a part of it, but it is not the defining characteristic of sincerity. I think the defining characteristic of sincerity is in the intention. If we intend to do it for none other than Allah, then we a...

Does Your Child Cry When You Leave For Work?

I am grateful to be in a position where I can babysit my own child. I am fully aware that not everybody has that luxury. Many have to leave their children in the care of nannies and nursery homes, not because they don't love their children. Rather, it is because their current socioeconomic condition is such that they have to make that arrangement, and in their best calculation, they have decided that to be the best course of action to take. I have nothing but respect for these people. They go to work in order to make an honest living, just to provide for the people they love at home. How can you not respect such people? Some of those respected people are my neighbours. Day in and day out, I witness them go to work early in the morning, leaving their children behind. Often times, the little ones are crying as they see their mothers and fathers walk away from them. No parents would want to see their children cry. Above all, no parents would want to be the cause that their childre...

Taking Pictures Without Permission

I was at a rest stop with my wife on a 7-hour road trip. We were having a meal. Soon after that, I received a message online from a person who knew who I was and he/she saw us at the rest stop. The person was a fan, but he/she was shy to approach and greet me. That's okay, I understand that. But what I don't understand is that this person secretly took a picture of my wife and I, having our meal, and posted it online. I felt violated and a bit scared, because a stranger had just taken a picture of my family, without me knowing it. From time to time, I like to bring my family to gatherings of knowledge so that they can benefit from the gathering. It is an educational experience that I want my family to be a part of, and I want them to feel accustomed to going to beneficial events. In one such occasion, I was the invited speaker. I brought my family along with me. My wife and my son sat at the back. Partly because my wife is shy and she doesn't like the attention, and p...

being minimal

For quite some time now I have been fascinated with the idea of being minimal. Minimalism , as how I defined it, is the philosophy of wanting less in order to focus more on what one needs. This idea can be applied in many ways, not just in terms of material acquisition. Minimalism can also be applied to graphic design, for example. When you create a poster or a t-shirt or anything graphic related, you try to reduce the amount of decoration and information to its bare essentials, while still maintaining its artistic value. I find this kind of graphic designing to be more fulfilling and efficient, since you are not being bombarded with unnecessary elements. It goes straight to the point. This is especially useful when you are trying to get the message across as fast as possible, which is very relevant given that we are moving faster and that our attention span is not that long. Anyway, I wanted to talk about minimalism and how it improves the quality of my life and maybe your life ...

Evidence-Based Arguments

Last weekend I conducted a 4-hour seminar about English speaking at one of the local universities here. It was not my first time doing this, so I can safely assume how the students would participate (although I still reserve a space for the contrary to happen): students were mostly passive, didn't quite respond to my questions or requests. It is one of those common things that university students do, but I didn't want to conform to this abnormal norm. So I tried my level best to encourage them to speak up and speak out, but continuously challenging their minds and emotions with questions and requests (e.g. asking them to fill up the front seats). 3 hours into the seminar, I wanted to start our last session: the discussion session. The basic idea is that I want them to use this opportunity to practice their English speaking. In the previous 3 hours, I tried to convey the message to them that it is not about getting it right all the time, but it is simply about trying and bel...

Compete with Your Wife

Some might think that a healthy relationship involves no fighting, but this is far from reality. All married couples fight, but the difference between the ones who are in a healthy relationship and the ones who are not, is that the healthy ones don't fight over small things and when they do fight, they don't go over board. But that is not the intention of this blog post. Perhaps I'll save that for later. The "fighting" that I am referring to here is about healthy competition. It involves no flying plates and no ill feelings. But it does involve you trying to one up on your spouse. The spirit of this competition is based upon this verse of the Quran, "...so race to [all that is] good..." (Surah Al-Maidah, Verse 48). How does this translate into your married life? Well, you can go about this in multiple ways but the one way that I like the most is service. So race with one another to see who can serve the other better. Let the race begins! There are ...