Aiman Azlan's Blog

Someone asked, "In your wedding documentary video , you mentioned about marrying the right way as opposed to marrying right away. How do we know if we're marrying the right way and not right away?" I'm afraid, like so many things in life, the answer is not black and white. Life is not like math. In the video, I gave a general description of what "the right way" means i.e. to get married when one is mature enough to take the relationship to where it is supposed to go - to Paradise. Maturity is not one thing, rather it is a harmonious blend of many things such as physical maturity (puberty), mental maturity (how you view the world), emotional maturity (how you control your emotions), spiritual maturity (how you are with God), material maturity (having survival skills, like cooking), intrapersonal maturity (how you are with yourself), interpersonal maturity (how you are with people), etc. At the same time, I am not suggesting that we all become angels...

Yesterday, I conducted a creative writing workshop for students at Universiti Malaysia Terengganu. As a form of exercise for the students, I asked them to write without pause for 20 minutes straight about whatever it is that goes on in their minds - a "brainvomit" as I like to call it. This exercise serves to show oneself that one can write, one has ideas, and one can overcome writer's block (if there is such a thing). I, as the instructor of the workshop, participated in the exercise as well. What follows is the 20-minute brainvomit I wrote - in its raw form.   <brainvomit> I don't think I've prepared myself well enough for the presentation. I think I missed a lot of things and I know that I can do more. But, my hopes are that people are motivated to write and that they can publish their first post from today. Even though some might hesitate to post that post, I think others will and that'll make me happy. I don't think I can change ...

The thing about being famous is that people start to take anything and everything you say as the truth, even if what you say is obviously wrong. But because it came from you, people start to justify it as being true. I mean, you can’t be wrong right? After all, you have half a million likes on your Facebook page. Suddenly, the message becomes secondary to the messenger. The person becomes more important than the content. You can say that your cat ride a unicorn on the rainbow, and someone will believe you. You can just tweet what you had for lunch and thousands of people will retweet you. This is the difficulty of having fans. Though I am not against having fans or being a fan, but I fear the mindset that fans might hold about the person they admire. Fans are infatuated with the individual they admire, so much so that they can’t seem to see anything wrong with the person. Anything the person does is seen as worthy of attention and admiration. The person could be doing drugs and y...

More Judges Than We Have Courts For Have you noticed that we have a lot of “judges” in our society nowadays? And they don’t work in courts! As soon as they see something they don’t like: “Brother, where is your beard?! Astaghfirullah brother, it’s a Sunna. A Sunna! You’re a bad Muslim, a bad Muslim.” “Sister, where is your hijab?! Astaghfirullah, you’re a bad Muslim.” “Brother, what are you doing? Why are you holding that girl’s hand? Astaghfirullah, you’re a bad Muslim.” “Oi, why are you swearing? Cussing is haram! Astaghfirullah, you’re a bad Muslim.” *70 Excuses You know what I think? I think we should make more excuses, and I don’t mean excuses for ourselves but excuses for our brothers and sisters. We're experts at making excuses for ourselves (no doubt about that), but can we make excuses for other people? Making excuses for our fellow brothers and sisters is very simple. Although it might not be easy, but it is simple. Here’s what we need to do: 1. Susp...

Unfortunately, we have a lot of stigma about mental health and about people with mental health issues. When I talk about mental health, a lot of people might think that I am talking about crazy people. That is not true. Mental health wide range of life challenges like everyday stress, exam anxiety, clinical depression, psychosis, violence, etc. Mental health is not about crazy people. Mental health is about people. Generally, people are uncomfortable with the things that they don’t know or understand, which is why efforts to raise public awareness is important. Above all else, we should take it upon ourselves to make ourselves aware through self-education so that we become well-informed people. When we don’t understand, we don’t know how to properly respond. For example, if you know someone with clinical depression, don’t tell that person to suck it up and move on like it’s no big deal. Clinical depression is a real illness, as real as physical illness. You wouldn’t say to some...

I have talked to a few older and more experienced people about marriage because the extent of my knowledge - no matter how elaborate it may be - is theoretical at best. There are those who have mastered the art before I can even utter my first word, so to think that I know everything about marriage, just because I attended a few classes here and there, would be a huge mistake. As much as the elders need the zeal of the youth, the youth needs the wisdom of the elders. Among my many conversations about marriage, one that plants itself deep into my psyche is the meaning of "I do" - the phrase that I will say to accept a woman as my wife. What does that phrase means to me and to her? On a surface level, it means pretty much the same thing for the man as it is for the woman. It means that I am now her husband and she is now my wife. We are lawfully and officially wedded. It is the beginning of a new chapter in both of our lives, one with countless and unpredictable challen...

I did my undergrad at University of Toronto Mississauga as an international student – I graduated in November 2013. In my final year of university, I spent a lot of my time with  the Muslim Chaplaincy at the University of Toronto . I attended as many of its programs as I could, up to the point of my graduation and my return back to my country. What is most attractive to me about the chaplaincy program is the atmosphere that it created – an atmosphere of support, of compassion, and of genuine brotherhood and sisterhood. It honestly feels like a family, like a community. Among my many experiences being in Muslim gatherings, I think the Muslim Chaplaincy is exceptional because of the diversity of people who join the chaplain programs. Usually I will be in Muslim gatherings where the people are mostly on the same page and roughly in the same phase in their Islam. For instance, I would see the sisters all with their hijabs and the brothers all with their kufis and beards. I’m n...