Aiman Azlan's Blog

Orlando, Florida (2010) I can't believe this photo was taken 8 years ago. Looking back, I am grateful for the friends that I have because whether they realize it or not, they contribute in some way to the person that I am today. The people whom I hang out with, travel with, eat with, live with, and share my joys and sorrows with, are people whom I chose. I picked them out of so many other people, because I believe they can help me become better. I also believe that I can help them. Sometimes we don't realize that we are constantly creating the social environment we are living in, and that environment will shape who we are and who we will be. Although I believe people have a constant potential to change, I also believe that you form much of who you are and who you will be during your youth years. That's why those moments are called "formative" years. They form who you are. You solidify your sense of self, your identity, your view of the world, and you...

Right now I'm doing a Masters degree in counseling at a local university. Classes ended last week and now I'm preparing for exams. I will have my first paper this week. Last night, I was invited as one of the panelists in a forum about exam preparation. Great timing. One of the questions was about what did I do during my undergraduate years to prepare for exams. I was in a bit of a dilemma whether or not to tell the truth about my undergrad experience or tell them a textbook answer about exam preparation. I went for the truth, because they deserve it and it's my responsibility. I told them straight up: I hate exams. To be clear, I understand their importance and I understand their relevance. I still study for exams and I appreciate why I have to study. I'm not a rebel without a cause. I don't jump out of an airplane, hoping to build my parachute on the way down. Don't be a fool. At the same time, I'm going to be real with people who ask me these ...

There are at least 2 reasons why you feel nervous in front of a crowd: 1. There are too many of them! The fear is real. You stand in front of an audience and they are all staring at you, all at once. You think that perhaps they are judging you and you feel like you are being punished for something you did. It's not a good feeling. But, if you can pause and ponder on it, you will realize that you are actually making up most of the things you fear in your head. In reality, you have no idea what they are thinking and they have no idea what you are thinking. Both parties are guessing what the other is thinking, and most of those guesses are negative. Right? 2. There are important people among them! This is a bit tricky. You can feel this fear even if the number of people in front of you are only a handful (e.g. in a panel interview or during a viva presentation). The number of people is not the issue, the issue is who is among them. You know that they are important pe...

Today, I conducted a 2-hour program on public speaking for primary school students. There were about 40 of them in attendance. I divided them into 4 groups, which I called families. In one of the activities, I asked each family to pick an article from an English newspaper. In one of the families, there was this one shy girl who said that she can read in English. I asked her to read, but she said that she's not that good at it. She added that she may not be able to understand it all. It's okay. I only wanted her to try. From the looks on her face, even the word "try" seems so heavy on her shoulders. I can tell that she is so afraid of making mistakes, even if I tried to reassure her that it's okay to make mistakes. After some mild nudges from me, she agreed to read an article out loud. I didn't even ask her to read the whole article, just the first few paragraphs. To my surprise, her English is very good! I can safely say that some university students...

Seth Godin wrote a blog post recently about coaching and he made an interesting point about motivation. He concluded with a statement, "Sooner or later, all motivation is self motivation". I found truth in his statement from my own experience being a motivational speaker. Often times organizers approach me with more or less the same request, "Could you please give motivation to our audience?" I totally understand where they are coming from. Perhaps they have tried their best to motivate their own audience but the outcome isn't what they expected. So, the opted to outsource it to someone like me. I am happy to help, but one thing that I usually remind them is that I can't give anyone motivation. Such an interesting statement coming from a motivational speaker, right? Well, the idea is that people can't be forced to do anything if all you want is authentic change. People might comply on the outside, but they most probably aren't moved on the ...